i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am spending my child support on dildos
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
