can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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