We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
