I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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