no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
