That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
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I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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