btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I want her autograph on my taint
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
