Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
