i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize