sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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