Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
