so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
