absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
