yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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