Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
