Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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