have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize