Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Bring me that man meat
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
