when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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