I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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