If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
