I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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