his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
