So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
