I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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