so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My life is pants optional.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
