her facebook's as public as her vagina
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
