ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
