It's Friday. Sex?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize