guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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