This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
