Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
