Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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