It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
