You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
