I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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