Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
