I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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