i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
