Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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