You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
