FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
