Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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