Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
