im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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