pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
