Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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