he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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