Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
