Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
