oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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