her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
