There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.