I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad