flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.