dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help