He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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