it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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