so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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